Spot the mistake!

I’m trying to move into proper bujo photograpy, and today was sunny so I thought I’d give it a shot. Problem is, it was too sunny. But even if that meant looong shadows where I didn’t want them, it also meant lace opportunities. 🙂

DSC_0079.JPG

That’s not the mistake, though. I’ve been pimping the cover of my bullet journal today, and I added some decorations which will certainly come off in my bag, but I just couldn’t stop myself.

Still, that’s not the mistake I’m talking about either. So can you spot it? It’s tiny, and in a way it makes sense in my case. Maybe it’s a metaphor for how I live and make my choices compared to the norm… 🙂

Preparing for November

Yesterday I made the cover page for November, and if October was all about butterflies, November will be about candles and lights.

DSC_0009

It’s the darkest month, the deep, inky black before the snow comes. It needs a flame to brighten it.

This monthly overview is just a start, but I know I want those lights to be a recurring feature, both on paper and in my home.

DSC_0013

I’m also trying out a food, music, and movie tracker. I’ve written those things on my dailies so far, but I think I want it all in one place (plus I need more space on my dailies!).

DSC_0017

Same with this: I’ve doodled these symbols on my dailies to signify something distressing that happened, something I learned, something I did well, and something good that happened. Now I’ll list it all on one spread, which means I’ll have to write really tiny letters!

DSC_0019

My first speed drawing video!

Ta-daa! I’ve been devouring these speed drawing videos for so long, and tonight I had hours to myself and a new month around the corner, so I thought “Why not?” and went ahead and made one. I’m so pleased with the colours, but please don’t look too closely at the wolf, I think it’s got rickets… 😀

Some miserable photos of a lovely spread

I really should start taking proper pictures of my bullet journal spreads with good lighting, instead of snapping a shaky, dark photo at night and then trying to make it look slightly less depressing in the editing software. But sadly I’m not there yet. Anyway, maybe a year from now it’ll be fun to look back at how dismal my bujo posts were this autumn, and I can feel smug about how pretty my photos have become by then!

Anyway. I tried a new thingy this week: the dutch door. I won’t waste time explaining something that others have explained/shown better here and here. Instead I’ll just tentatively say that I’m loving it!

DSC_0199a.jpg

I’m using the top strip for a weekly overview with anything that needs to be done at a certain time, like meetings and such. On the row below it, I put dinners, music I’ve listened to, and any movie or TV show we watch.

On the bottom left I have my work related tasks, divided by context (read, Uni, computer), and to the right I have things to do at home plus a square I meant to track my moods in but I lost the motivation so I’m saving it for something else – a better idea, hopefully!

DSC_0209

As you can see below, I’ve put the names of the weekdays on my dutch door pages plus four symbols that stand for “pain in the ass”, “something I learned”, “well done” and “today’s bonus”, because these are things I always want to write down.

DSC_0214

And these pages are my favourite, because one thing I really enjoy with my bullet journal is the diary part of it. I tend to use it both for remembering fun things that happened, funny quotes, lightbulb moments, etc, but also for pictures. When a day is done and the page doesn’t have to look structured anymore because I don’t need to be able to quickly check my tasks, I like to wind down and reward myself/debrief by drawing or painting something, like I’ve done below.

DSC_0218_01

And so a grey, depressing day with no sun becomes something beautiful because charcoal is beautiful! That’s one point of art, isn’t it? To make the drudgery beautiful?

 

So you want to be productive?

DSC_0021.JPG

Why did I start bullet journalling? To get more organized and productive, of course, just like everyone else. I wanted some help in following through on my commitments. Avoid forgetting stuff. And I’m loving it, I really am, but not for the reasons I thought. Because you know what bullet journalling doesn’t help with? Not wanting to be productive. Not wanting to do the tasks you put in it.

Heh.

I mean, today’s ideal is to work yourself to death. Fine, if that’s your kink. I won’t shame it. But it most certainly isn’t mine. I recently turned 42, but I’m going on ten and no mistake. When I was preparing to receive my guests on the big day, I considered trying to do something about the mess in our dining room, and then I thought, “Fuck it. Exactly who are we celebrating here? Yeah, that’s right: ME. And what am I like? I’m messy and quirky and charming as fuck in my inability to keep things together.”

dsc_0048
My home can look like this.
DSC_0036.JPG
But usually it doesn’t.

So I didn’t clean. Shock horror. But you know what else? My guests probably didn’t notice, because even when I do clean, the house looks absolutely filthy compared to other people’s homes. Clutter, clutter everywhere, and so be it, you know? I’ve come about halfway in this game called life. Time to stop beating myself up for being a typical creative.

DSC_0031
Which is why I can spend half a day on pages like these, where all I really end up with is a collection of ideas for my novel which already sort of had a digital home in my “Neptune” folder.
DSC_0034
But come on – this is much more inspiring! Who cares that it took a long time to do? What else is more important than having fun and developing your talents? The dishes can wait.

Still, I do want to achieve a level of non-ickyness where I live, and I do want to tick off my most important tasks, and maybe even publish another book soonish. So that’s where the bullet journal should come in, and perhaps does in an oblique sort of way. (I’m killing this blog post, btw. Totally rocking the structure part of it.)

Anywayyyyyy. How does the bullet journal help? It keeps me on the straight and narrow when it comes to absolutely essential stuff I need to do. Everything is gathered in one place, and I get visual confirmation when I achieve my projects.

Projekt

But the best part is the way it doubles as a diary, and some side effects of this that I’ll describe below. Now, I haven’t kept a diary in twenty-five years (because I’m lazy), but this system actually functions as one. When I plan, I jot down what I mustn’t forget, but afterwards comes the fun part: as I wind down and digest the stuff I’ve achieved, I doodle on the planning pages and make them pretty, and so I get a memento. Two birds with one stone!

Ramblin

Before I started bullet journalling, I would plan on scraps of paper and then throw them away, but now I keep it all. This way, I can look back on fun stuff and hard stuff and all those tiny things you tend to forget – you know, the “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans” thing John Lennon was talking about in Beautiful Boy. If I keep my notes and mull over them after it’s all over, it becomes a record of my life, and maybe the act of manually and visually digesting it will help my brain retain some of it all on its own, too?

So instead of making me productive – quick, quick, get it done, hurry up to beat everyone else to the grave – my bullet journal makes me slow down and appreciate things, digest them, and put them in pretty writing and colours. I haven’t drawn properly in years either, but the bullet journal offers me a place to do that too. And I mean serious drawing, not just a face on the back of a print-out that I then throw away. It forces me to draw with a purpose, and to make it as good as I can. It reconnects me with a person I used to be – a person I prefer to the one who tries to be like everyone else and scamper around with a pocket watch like the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. It helps me realize what I want to do and what I don’t want to do. It shows me where I stumble and where I shine.

DSC_0048 (4).JPG
This is where I shine, btw.

Take yesterday. I absolutely had to do two kinds of tasks: one was creative and clearly delineated. The other was a socially confrontational and difficult exercise of authority, but vague, nebulous even, with no limit on how much work I could put in. Not only that: finishing the task was almost guaranteed to earn me not recognition and gratitude, but more problems and questions and complaints and pleas for help.

So which task did I rock and which one had me whimpering in a corner?

Yeah.

Dailies
A closer look at the top photo…

But the story doesn’t end with gnashing of teeth and despair. Because since I use my bullet journal to analyze what I’m doing, I decided to change the way I approach the second type of task: since I know I dread it, I now know I need to divide it into smaller parts and do a little at a time. I know how exhausting they are, so I can’t expect myself to do it all in one sitting. And so I can plan for that. Adapt the way I work to the type of task. I needn’t worry about the creative things. I can dash off a couple of pages on food sociology or go through a colleague’s grant application with a red pen in a quarter of an hour, but I need to set aside an hour each day to tackle tiny parts of the more daunting stuff.

Which is what I’ll do next week. And since that week isn’t put on paper yet – it’s still a blank page in my bullet journal – it’ll genuinely feel like starting from scratch when I draw my weekly spread and figure out how to accomodate its visual structure to my new insight.

dsc_0040.jpg

So, the big question then: does this new insight and the way I apply it make me more productive? Does it mean I’ll get more things accomplished in the coming week?

To that I say: Who cares? So far in life I haven’t screwed up too badly, so obviously I’m already doing something right. And if I find a way of doing the same things in a way that’s kinder to my health and the sort of person I am, that’s result enough for me. I don’t want to be more productive. I want to experience life, to savour every day, and for that the bullet journal is perfect.

And in the end, perhaps the real question is: how do we want to define ‘productive’?

DSC_0362.JPG

 

A kick in the behind for the creative mind

DSC_0002

Are you a highly creative person who constantly struggles with structure and efficiency? Who flings yourself with abandon into every shiny new thing, and then you lose track of your thoughts or lose interest once you’ve jotted down your ideas in a notebook you’ll never look at again?

If so, this blog post may not help you at all – but you already know that, don’t you? Because you’ve already poured hours of your life into an Internet drain of tips and tricks to get more organized. You’ve hoarded planners and notebooks and pens – you’ve even tried Outlook’s calendar because everyone said it was the future. Or you’ve put things into your phone with alarms attached, but when the alarm went off you still didn’t do the thing because the time was wrong, or you missed it because it wasn’t in the to-do list you were following on that particular day.

Well. I know how you feel. And I hope I’ve found a Panacea.

DSC_0081_03
This has nothing to do with the blog post, but my hands are beginning to resemble my mum’s. It’s so weird to look down at them and see HER hands!

You may not be like me (INTP, 5w4, air-and-fire chart, cold-but-sensitive, disciplined-but-lazy, razor-sharp scatterbrain), and you may not be helped by what I’m about to tell you. But I’ve had an epiphany, okay? And who has the strength to keep quiet about epiphanies? So anyway, my big Eureka moment came when I realized that it’s essential for me to play at work. To use precious time to do silly things like writing and rewriting and colour-coding things in a planner, or drawing elaborate brain-storming maps on giant pieces of paper.

And perhaps, perhaps using a bullet journal.

You see, a while ago I got a relevant ad on Facebook. I know, unicorn, right? Never happens. But it did happen. I got an ad for this blog, and I checked it out because I sensed that it would speak to me. Sure enough, it proved to be a veritable rabbit hole, and I dove in with all the death-defying grace of Evel Knievel. After a few hours of reading, I took Little Coffee Fox’s advice and decided to apply my creativity to the most boring aspects of my life. To force those boring things into my world of colour and fun.

DSC_0077_03.JPG

I did struggle for a while. The whole of September disappeared into a frenzy of trying to merge my new bullet journal system with the GTD system I’d been using so far. I read David Allen’s book a few years back and it changed my life, especially the “next task” bit which has really helped me get control over my planning. But I used to use a binder and rip out my ugly, prefab weekly spreads when I was done with them, which meant that I didn’t keep any memories from my life. It’s like I obliterated the days I’d lived every Friday, and when I came across bullet journalling, I realized I didn’t want to live like that.

Okay, it wasn’t just the bullet thing. It was also the death of a friend. I suddenly felt like oh my god, this stretch of time on Earth actually is precious and I want to remember it, savour it, live it consciously.

And here was this system that would let me do exactly that.

But integrating bullet journalling into GTD was easier said than done. Results partially demonstrated below.

IMG_6418

I’ve been using a binder for so long that I’ve forgotten how not to move pages around all the time. As I improvised with the new system, I had to rip pages out and glue them in where I needed them – and then redo it all again when that didn’t work either.

IMG_6420

Pretty, yeah? Nah. Not exactly something you’d post to Instagram to brag about your planner.

I pondered going back to my binder so many times, but there were two things that stopped me:

  1. Every so often – since I’m a total klutz – I’ll drop things. And when binders hit the floor, well… basically, papers fly, which means you can kiss your careful organization goodbye.
  2. The fucking rings! They’re in the way 24/7. You can’t write on the left side of your spread, and bullet journalling absolutely depends on The Spread. I was not going to miss out on The Spread because of the fucking rings.

So I persevered.

IMG_6422

IMG_6424

Not very far into my bullet journal adventure, I realized that having pages with Random Stuff in between my weekly spreads was a no-go. Scotch tape to the rescue! But does it feel inspring to use a falling-apart planner with scotch tape all over the place?

No.

So after a few weeks of agonizing, doodling, thinking, ripping-out, glueing-in again, and taping together of pages, I finally decided to abandon my first “growing-pains” journal and migrate to – yes, I fell for it – a Leuchtturm1917. :-/

DSC_0086

And it actually seems to be worth it. I love the dotted grid and the prenumbered pages. I love the discipline it inspires in my hand.

I also love the slew of coloured pens I splurged on because… well, I can rationalize all I want, but I needed to say ‘fuck you’ to certain aspects of my life (dead friends and all that), so I felt like I deserved something frivolous. Also I needed to reconnect with a younger me who loved all things colourful and stationary-related (and who hadn’t met said friend yet… You want symbolism? I’ve got symbolism!).

DSC_0095

So yeah. I remember now. Pen and paper was my first love in life. That said, I love – no, I adore – computers and gadgets and editing software and the Internet. But now and again, I need to touch base with pen and paper in hand, with doodles and colours and the actual physicality of putting pen to paper. I need to feel the structure in the page, the way the ink flows from my fingertips.

DSC_0018
Sometimes I think I deserve my back pain. This is my idea of ergonomy – and always has been. No desks for me as a child. Floor or bed works fine.

It’s simple, really. A child would understand it. I’ve always known I was creative, but when life/work/accountant types have told me to suppress it, I’ve dutifully suppressed it (until the drudgery of soulless work drained me of all sense of fun and I lost the will to live).

But no more. Nowadays I follow my whims and spend time decorating my planner, thinking through the day to come with colourful pen in hand, however frivolous it may seem when I’ve got tons to do. Because sooner or later, I know I’ll check off all my duties, but since I’m inspired to do them, I’ll be much more efficient.

So when I’ve tired out my brain with reading scientific reports for two hours, I don’t force-feed it more scientific reports just because there’s still a pile to get through. Instead I turn to something else, something fun and silly and “pointless”, and I let myself do that until a new spark leads me in a more “serious” direction again – which invariably happens!

You just have to trust yourself to get back in the groove after your little outing into la la land. Because if you don’t allow yourself to play, you won’t do the other things well either.

DSC_0078_03.JPG

Funnily enough, this way of living often leads to the opposite of procrastinating: I do things that don’t need to be done in months, instead of what’s actually on my desk at the moment. But the great thing about this is that when the deadline for the future thing approaches, I’ve long since started the project and perhaps even half finished it, so I already have wind in my sails!

DSC_0056 (2)

To sum up, I firmly believe that if you’re creative (and I mean deeply, pathologically creative), you need to make your life creative, even the boring things. Like, sure, you can curse your way through paying your bills and cleaning your house, or you can – I dunno – put on some music and dance with the broom? You know best what will work for you, but my point is that we have a choice either to suffer through the boring stuff by closing our eyes and thinking of England, or we can make the task adapt to us instead of the other way round.

DSC_0057.JPG

Finally, a note on the often gorgeous spreads you see on Instagram and the like: those are the result of painstaking practice and countless mistakes. Nothing is perfect the first time – or the thousandth time. There’s always a different truth behind the scenes.

DSC_0063_02