My eccentric app

I’m slowly coming to terms with the dictation app I’m using. I used to go for long walks, telling my story to an mp3 recorder, and then I used to transcribe it, but the method was too time-consuming. So I thought I’d try out a dictation app instead.

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Now, you can’t expect too much of a technology that is still in its infancy, and at first I hated it. Over time, however, I’ve learned its strengths and weaknesses. I’ve discovered what words it misunderstands most often, so that I can change my pronunciation accordingly. For example, “he” often becomes “you” for some reason. Another thing I’ve learned is to ignore most of the mistakes the app makes. When I first started using it, I immediately corrected everything that didn’t turn out the way I wanted. This meant that most of the time I wanted to spend on “writing”, I was rerecording tricky words or even typing them. It made my walks precarious (since I didn’t look where I was going) and ineffective. By now I’ve learned to leave most of the text intact and then clean it up as soon as I come home, while I still remember what I really meant. If I come across totally unintelligible gobbledegook I read it aloud, and that usually jogs my memory.

One funny thing about the app is that it tries to educate me in polite conversation. I use some “vulgar language” in my writing: yes, my characters sometimes curse. So if I say “he was pissed off” or “what the fuck was he going to do”, that’s what I want the app to write. No such thing. It changes these phrases to “he was p*issed off” and “what the f*ck was he going to do”. It even puts in two asterisks in g*d*mnit! Excuse me, but I’m the user here. I think I know what I want the text to say, okay? Besides, I’m writing in a fairly risqué genre as it is. If the app wants to change all that language to asterisks, my books will consist of little else.

But in the end, for all its faults, the app does catch about 3/4 of what I say correctly. It even understands phrases like “question mark” and “dot dot dot”. That said, sometimes it’s like autocorrect gone mad. For example, today I wanted to say “When Jamie went through his mother’s record collection, he discovered all sorts of jazz, bebop and blues.” A perfectly ordinary sentence, right? Well, this is where technology shows that we still have a long way to go before we’ve created Artifical Intelligence. Because what the app suggested was “When Jamie went through his mother’s record collection, he discovered all sorts of Justin Bieber balloons.”

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